Monday, March 28, 2016

Bittersweet

Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?
--Job 2:10

I am no longer a nursing mother.

This statement is equal parts joy and sorrow.  Harper is my last baby.  So with her weaning, I've closed a near decade of pregnancy, newborns, and nursing.  

Part of me is doing the happy dance on the way to buy a decent bra for the first time in I-don't-even-know-when.  But another part of me misses the weight of her newborn body in my arms, her satisfied 3AM sighs, her absolute trust that I will nourish her.  

Now I can barely catch her as she stumble-walks down the hall, making a bee line for the dog food bowl or open toilet lid.  

I came across some videos on my phone yesterday, one of Harper shifting around in my heavily pregnant belly, another of her first coos and smiles.  And though it's completely uncharacteristic of me, I started crying (perhaps I'm a tad hormonal?). My tears were not entirely sad, but they weren't from laughter either.  It was a bittersweet moment.


I recently read Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist.  It was an easy read composed of small vignettes of Niequist's daily life, travels, marriage, and mothering. It's encouraging and thought provoking and makes me wonder if Shauna Niequist and I are not so different, except for her being a very successful writer and cook and speaker and me, well, not.

I heavily highlighted the following passage: "...When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow."

Some of my people have had a rough start to 2015--illness, death, difficulty for no good reason at all. So much bitter. But as sure as I know anything, I know that sweet is coming, too.  So we will say thank you, and we will wait.

What is your most memorable bittersweet moment of 2014?  Of 2015?  





2 comments:

  1. In Judaism Orthodox women visit the mikveh when they wean. Should be a ritual for changing season of life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've been taking lots of hot showers, does that count? LOL

      Delete

 
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