Thursday, October 25, 2012

Dealing

What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. (Ecclesiastes 3:9-12 NLT)

Sometimes I feel like I have a lot to "deal with". Keeping two kids clean, fed, loved, and in bed on time is exhausting. The dog requires my supervision as well, since he still chews. on. everything. In large part I'm a one-woman show. Todd's schedule is full and unpredictable, and although I'm sure he'd rather spend more time at home, we're not that blessed right now.

I know this is just a season in our lives. And I know that I'll never get these special moments with my kids again. They're growing up so fast. Maddie is talking about try-outs for the school Christmas show and Ava comes home talking about new friends--mostly boys--every day.

I approach most days with a mental list of things that I have to "deal with". Some items on my list are essential but mundane: grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, sorting through school papers, packing lunches. Some items I dread, like activities which require me to drive back and forth to town more than usual. Some items I truly enjoy, like my Monday morning Bible study or a chance to have lunch date with my husband.

But here's my problem: I approach all items on my daily to do list with the same efficiency and attention. I want to place a mental check mark next to the completed item as quickly as possible. Oftentimes even activities that should be fun just get "dealt with" instead of enjoyed.

Dog fed? Check.
Lunch packed? Check.
Called or checked in with my husband? Check.
Bible study homework completed? Check.
Children bathed snuggled to sleep? Check.

When I'm just "dealing" I'm missing the beauty and blessings in my life. As the author of the verse above states, we cannot see God's big plan but should instead enjoy each season while we're in it. I am blessed to be enjoying this time as a stay at home mom this year, even though its making me a little bit crazy. But I am assured that this particular time in my life is preparing me for something else in the future. God is shaping me for His big plan.

Learning to see the beauty in my daily to do list? Working on it.
Not measuring my self-worth in imaginary check marks? Going to give it a shot.
Stepping back to admire the big picture? I'll keep trying.

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